Funeral For That Which Never Was
by Sparticus328
Summary: Max calls it final quits with Logan, admitting that the love they had was his imagination...but he won't leave her alone. What will she do? MA eventual pairing.
1. Settling for Ruination

Disclaimer: I don't own either the song or the show. Please don't sue me, I'm a college student and have no money to afford lawyer fees...

A/N: This is based from the song "Wreck of the Day" by Anna Nalick…it inspired thought…hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it (btw, it's…a few chapters long, so bear with me while I refine them all).

**Funeral for That Which Never Was**

Chapter 1: Settling for Ruination

_Driving away from the wreck of the day,_

_and the lights always red in the rearview._

"I'm sorry. It's just not the same anymore." Max wasn't sorry though. This break up had been a long time coming.

"You can't possibly be saying that. Not now, we finally have a cure for the virus. How can you be giving up?"

"I'm not giving up, Logan. I'm admitting the truth. I just don't love you. To be completely honest, I don't think I ever did, not that way." Max shrugged

"What? Max, you don't mean that." Logan was close to whining and it hurt Max's ears. She ground her teeth to keep from cringing.

"I do. I really think that I was just giving myself an excuse. Manticore planned everything. They even paired us off, for God's sake. Granted, I never thought they chose very well for me." Max would have admitted at that point that Alec seemed to have been the perfect fit for her, but she decided it was cruel enough to break it off with the cyber-journalist. "But I do know that we were never meant to be together." Max paused, thinking how best to word what she had to say. Then something Alec said came to mind. "Human, transgenic," she pointed to Logan, and then to herself, "it just can't work."

Needless to say, he didn't take that very well. "Of course you would use something _he_ said to try to convince me. Alec brainwashed you, or something. That's the only way you could be thinking this."

"You really are stubborn, aren't you?" Max restrained herself from groaning. "For your information, nothing Alec said or did could have made me think this way. He could never sway my opinion, one way or another. _And_ he would never try to make me. He, unlike you, respects my ability to make my own decisions. I simply came across a realization."

"But what about that year of unspoken attraction?" Logan desperately searched for things that would change her mind, reasons that would bring her back to him.

"What attraction? You were the first guy, outside of Manticore, who knew what I was, and understood what I was, without thinking of me as a monster. Then, I felt obligated to stick with you when I escaped the second time."

Logan's jaw dropped.

"What? I couldn't help it that you thought I had died. What would you rather I did? Say 'hey, Logan. I'm alive, but sorry, I don't love you. See ya.' C'mon. That's a bit harsh. I may be the resident bitch of Seattle, but I'm not that mean. I felt kind of guilty for leading you on the year before. I guess… I tried to convince myself that there was something there, even though there wasn't, to try to make up for it."

Logan began shaking his head. It just wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Any minute Max was sure he would get up and start searching her for a "made in Manticore" mark with a subtext saying "ha, ha gotcha" scrawled somewhere on her body. Instead, he suggested "What about all the times you saved my life. Or me saving yours?"

"All the times I saved your life? Simple. I had to. You are an ordinary, Logan. Without help from me or Joshua, or Alec even…hell, any transgenic, you would probably be dead seven or eight times over by now." Max stopped and thought. "As for you saving my life, half the time Alec was with you on that, so you sure as hell can't take all the credit for it. The other half of the time, well, thanks for that, but it's your own damn fault for not seeing the truth." Max's patience was wearing thin. It seemed that every time she had to be near Logan lately her fuse became gradually shorter.

For several seconds, Logan had sat in stunned silence. He'd only stared blankly at the wall above Max's head, opening and closing his mouth. Max took the opportunity to get out of there. As quietly as she could, Max stood and walked out of his apartment. She was afraid that if she made any noise at all he would start in again. The way he was going before, she doubted he would ever relent.

Max felt so relieved to have it finally over. Yet, part of her wondered if she would ever find someone who would really understand her. _Whatever_, Max thought as her taillights blurred a red glare away from what she came to realize her future would never be. Max had always been a lone wolf…She didn't really consider it that much of a big thing if she remained one for the rest of her life.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it.Please review, I love to hear from you guys! The next part needs a little work before I can submit it, so be patient...


	2. Don't Resuscitate a Corpse

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah…I know, hand the credit for concept and character development to James Cameron and Charles Eglee. Damn!

A/N: Chapter two is here! Hope you enjoy. It's kinda short, but I like the next chapter to which it leads. ;)

**Funeral for That Which Never Was**

Chapter 2: Don't Resuscitate a Corpse

Max briefly glanced behind her, the wind pulling her hair across her face as she drove her motorcycle away from Fogle Towers. She breathed a liberated sigh and refocused on the road and the night around her. What a relief. It was over. That's it. She did it. Max had finally told Logan that she didn't love him anymore, if she ever had at all.

_Desperately close to a coffin of hopes, I'd cheat destiny just to be near you._

That's how Logan had described it. Always a writer, even if he was a cyber-journalist doing cable-hacks. He thought there was poetry in everything, even music…classical music. Max couldn't argue with that, classical pieces were full of emotion. She often heard in classical arrangements the kinds of longing and emotion that the children of Manticore were denied and forbidden to possess. It brought her peace. She just hated how he idealized it.

Max knew that their destiny had long since dissected into two separate paths. In truth, it always had been. For the brief time that they thought it was a joined fortune, the two were simply traveling parallel. It seemed that he somehow knew it as well, he just thought that they could trick fate into the impossible. Max didn't want to get around fate anymore. The only destiny that they would have if they stayed together would be her killing him, either with the virus, or with all the recent Familiar activity. She didn't see the difference anymore, and she really didn't care either.

Somehow he had to make her see. She couldn't just give up on them. He never would.

The first of the phone messages he left on her machine was waiting for Max when she got back to her apartment. The blinking light on the machine attracted her attention. Curious, she stepped forward and hit the playback button. She ground her teeth when she heard Logan's voice on the line. "Max, I know you're there. Pick up. Please. I need to talk to you. Ok… Call me, then." The line beeped indicating the end of the message.

"Yeah, when America is a world power again, I'll call you." She grit out sarcastically. It seemed the ordeal wasn't as over as she hoped it would be. Max knew that Logan clung to his beliefs, but she had honestly thought he would have enough respect for her to allow her to make her own decisions without butting in and demanding that he have a say in them.

The phone rang again. She didn't want to answer it and risk it being Logan. She had said her piece, now she was going to make life continue. First stop: Crash.


	3. Beating the Dead

Disclaimer: James' brainchild...I modified it ;)

A/N: Alrighty, chap 3 is up. Have fun!

**Funeral for That Which Never Was**

Chapter 3: Beating the Dead

_And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up_

_If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up on love, on love._

**At Crash.**

"Max, I thought I got you a cell phone?" Alec glared evilly at her beeper as it buzzed and vibrated in circles between them at the bar.

"You did, and thanks by the way. But be glad that I didn't tell Logan the number, much less that I have one at all. I am. The only people who know my cell number are you and OC, and that's the way I want to keep it." Max glared just as vilely at the electronic contraption, her chin propped up in her up-turned palm, elbow resting on the countertop. The motion and noise stopped, for a moment anyway, and then another call set it off again. Max dropped her fist on the bar with a thud that rattled bottles, releasing a frustrated sigh. Picking up the infuriating object with her left hand, Max glared once more at the number. She dropped her left arm holding the beeper beside her right. Holding the vibrating item in both hands, Max unceremoniously snapped the plastic in two.

Alec raised his eyebrows at her action, but otherwise made no response. It seemed he had seen it coming for a while. "'Bout time." He sat up and swirled the liquid in his glass. Almost as an afterthought, he looked up at Max to see if his words had upset her.

"Damn straight." She said forcefully, lobbing the two halves of the dead beeper in the trash behind the bar.

"So, what's up with you and Loggie-bear, anyway?" Alec suspected that Max had enough, but rather than presume like he usually did, and get his ass kicked in return, he figured he would check with the woman first.

"Nothing." Max sat up, refusing to slouch anymore. The main source of her annoyance had met its overdue end, and she was definitely not in mourning over its loss.

"Nothing?" Alec eyed her. Max usually said a lot that had absolutely no truth to it. The only way that he could tell if she was being honest with him was if he watched her body language. Not a lot of people knew Max's tells, but he did, and that was the only thing that mattered.

"Nothing. Nothing ever was, nothing ever will. That kind of nothing." Max stared at the cracked mirror behind the bar. She actually smiled at her reflection.

Alec had to lean back. He let out an inaudible laugh of surprise. Max had personal confidance—confidance in herself. Since he met her, he hadn't seen much of that confidance, but it was there now, and it seemed to be a permanent feature. "So you told him quits."

"More than quits. I told him it never existed." Max took a slow drink from her beer. "Actually felt good to get it out. Two years of I have no idea what: It was about time I shot the horse he was beating."

"Interesting illustration." Alec frowned at her. She was not acting like the Max he knew. "What's up with you? You aren't usually like this."

"I'm reveling in freedom. Temporary as it is." She sighed heavily. "Sooner or later that sycophant is going to show up out of no where and plead with me to come back into his life." Max set the glass down, amber liquid swaying with the motion. "To tell you the truth, I was kinda psyched by the fact that I actually had the nerve to tell him. I am in an odd state of emotion right now." Max wiped a hand across her face. "If I was an ordinary, I would swear it was PMS. But I'm not, so I can't. It's just….different."

Alec nodded watching her as she explained. "I get it."

Max frowned turning to face the transgenic.

"What? I do. It makes sense to me. You make sense." He closed his eyes and thought for a moment. "Okay, let me explain that: It's a logical state of confusion. Logan has been around for a while, in your life I mean. You're used to his—uh—constant nagging?" Max nodded, admitting the fact. "Right. So. You're disjointed 'cuz he's not breathing down your neck anymore."

"Yeah. I guess that makes sense."

"'Course it makes sense, it's me."

Max laughed. "Alec. You never make sense."

Alec had never really heard her laugh before. Every other laugh he had heard was only a half-hearted attempt at playing a part for her friends. She had never actually meant it before. This time she did, he could tell. The laughter reached her eyes. Alec smiled at hearing the sound. "Exception to the rule?"

Max shrugged, smirking at his smile. She was tired of talking about it. "Whatever the case, it's over for good." She tipped her head back and gazed at the ceiling, "now I just need to get him to realize it…" Max blew through loose lips. "He doesn't seem to want to let go."

"Max, this is Logan we're talking about. Since when does he give up?" He knew she wanted to stop talking about it, but he also knew that she wasn't finished talking about it yet, regardless of her irritation for the topic. He weighed which was more important and determined that getting all of it out tonight would save both him and everyone else at Jam Pony in the morning when they had to go in to work. "I mean, just look at how he reacted after you were recaptured by Manticore." She lifted her head and looked over at him, a half-cocked expression on her face. "The first thing he actually seriously talked to me about was that night. Don't ask me why…" Max watched him as he steadily grew more uncomfortable. "Maybe he thought I was trying to steal you away or something dumb like that. Idiot. I may be a jerk, but I am not the type of guy to steal another guy's girl. –Anyway, he knew you'd been shot, through the heart. Said he knew you'd died, but didn't believe you had. Spent the next six months 'longing' for you—and I quote."

Max raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes. "Is that a fact?" She asked with a bored, detached tone. Max really didn't care.

"Yeah. Made me _want _to gag…" Alec rushed on, "Anyway, he told me that he never gave up on the idea that he would see you again." He looked at her. "And look what happened. You made it come true." He shook her shoulder. "Max, you came back from the dead."

"Don't remind me." She lifted her head. "Renfro made sure I did." She played with her glass. "Probably would have found some way, even if my brother hadn't died for me. Heh, she probably manipulated him into shooting himself in the head anyway." Max waved a hand, shooing the fact of lesser importance into the background. "At the time, my main thought for getting out of Manticore after my recapture was to protect Logan." Max buried her cheek in her left palm, lifting her beer with her right hand for another drink. "Man, I was deluded." She took another draft from the glass.

"Yeah, but just think," Alec put an arm across her shoulder and spread an arm before them as if painting a scenario for her to picture.

Max set down her beer, she couldn't wait to hear this.

"If you hadn't gotten recaptured and brought back to life, you never would have met me." He could see Max reaching behind him in the cracked mirror behind the bar, so before he got slapped in the back of the head, as was sure to happen given her movements, he continued. "You never would have met Josh, you never would have broken out again, or blown up the facility. Then all of us poor tosses would still be stuck in cages waiting for the beck and call of our trainers." Alec shook his head, a defeated expression layering his sandy features. "But the world would still be hell." He shrugged. "Meh. Ya win some, ya lose some."

"Oh, great philosopher, you have opened my eyes." Max commented dryly, though it was true. Max never really considered how much life was interwoven. Events occurred simply because other events transpired. "And now, I'm gonna go home and take a long, uninterrupted girly bath." She leaned back into Alec's arm, which he hadn't moved. "If I can."

"Okay, okay," Alec complained lifting his arm from her shoulders, "I get the idea. You think I contaminated you and you need to go wash my grime away. But first you need me to move my arm. Is that right?" He was being sarcastic, but inside he felt like that's what she really thought of him sometimes. Always the screw-up, so it would seem. Except tonight. She had talked to him like they were real friends. Not as a random military acquaintance from which she occasionally enlisted help.

"No." Max laughed. "You are not that dirty. Actually, you're usually a pretty clean guy…except for your thoughts, I must admit. I guess the pretty-boy nature stuck, didn't it? I got you out of Manticore, but I still can't seem to get all of Manticore out of you." Max turned to fully look at him. "Ya know something else?" She leaned close to his ear. "I know what you're thinking. And the answer's no. You're not a screw up."

A/N: Ha ha! Expression in triumph. Chapter three is complete. Weee, I'm having fun with this!


	4. Tombstone Envy

**Disclaimer:** Yup, that's right. It's mine, all mine...Dang. It's alla strange and beautiful dream.

**A/N: **Ok, chapter four...hope you enjoy and please review. I'm trying to get back to all of you who are so dutifully reviewing, but dial-up is the _worst_ connection ever. Please be patient, responses are coming.

**Funeral for That Which Never Was**

Chapter 4: Tombstone Envy

_Driving away from the wreck of the day and I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus_

'_Cause love doesn't hurt, so I know I'm not falling in love I'm just falling to pieces. _

Shadowed eyes watched from across the noisy bar as Max leaned close to whisper in Alec's ear, a cell phone clenched tightly in his fist. He knew she wouldn't have responded to his calls, not yet. But he wanted to give her a sign that he was still there, still willing to put the past behind them and accept her. It surprised him when she calmly snapped her beeper in half unceremoniously, ending its meager existence as a link between two wandering souls.

He hadn't intended to hide from Max. But he knew that she wasn't in the happiest of moods. He had been able to gather at least that speaking to Max when she was upset was not something he had the clout to do. He had seen Max depressed and saddened. He had seen her frustrated. He had seen her mad as hell. But this was a different kind of upset. It was an indefinable one.

When she had stopped her brother Ben, he let her cry—albeit, afraid of doing anything for fear of provoking her own killer tendencies. When he realized that Max was not the psychotic killer her brother was, he was only beginning to understand her.

Logan watched as Max placed a gentle hand on Alec's back. She stood and made her way to the door of Crash. He waited a few minutes before following in her wake, hoping that she was going home.

* * *

True to her word, as soon as Max stepped through the door of her apartment, she got out pots. Filling them with water and lighting the range top, she prepared the water for her bath. So what if it took an hour to boil enough water, she was going to have her bath. But, they really did need to get the water working somehow.

"Hey girl." OC voiced in greeting from her place on the couch. Noticing her expression she asked, "What's up?"

"I am going to have myself some girl time. Pampering, bath, no phone," Max poured the first two of the pots of water into the waiting tub. "You wanna contribute?"

"Sure thing, boo. What can Original Cindy do? Or who should Original Cindy lay the smack-down on?"

"I'm gonna have to say no to the smack-down. Violence limits the feel-good girly-ness. Pedicure?"

"You asking the right person. Original Cindy is the Nubian Queen of pampered feet and fingers. Leave the digits to me, you soak yourself in them bubbles, Boo."

Max sunk languidly into the hot water of her bath, complete with bubbles and baby oil. She dangled her feet out of the tub for OC to give the pedicure.

"Oh, and if Logan calls, I'm not here. I'm…at Alec's." Max decided he would be the safest buffer if Logan needed to contact her. If it was about what she knew it was going to be about, she could trust Alec to deflect any comment or question well enough. If it was anything else, she'd find out tomorrow at work when she met up with the male transgenic.

"And if it's Alec?"

"Then, give me the phone." Max stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, one which didn't even require an explanation.

* * *

Alec made it home from crash in a state of confusion.

Well, sort of.

He knew he had heard her right, had actually felt her hand gently touch his back as she left. But he had no idea what it meant. A hundred different possibilities passed through his mind, but he considered it safer not to focus on any one of them. If he had any hopes or expectations that weren't met, it would shatter their gradually growing friendship.

_The first time I was really stupid after meeting Max was when I agreed to take the assignment to trail her and make sure Logan died. Now the guy rubs it in my face almost every time he sees me. He never says a word, but I can see it in his eyes._ Alec shook his head. _What ever happened to the benefit of the doubt, clean slate, or apologies? And he made sure Max never trusted me either, at first. Luckily now she's making up her own mind. _He tossed his jacket on a chair.

Alec nearly jumped when the phone rang. "And I was going to have a nice quiet evening of television, too." He picked up the receiver and held it to his ear. "Alec."

"Logan. Hey, question for you. Do you have any idea what happened to Max's pager. I tried the number, but the call wouldn't go through."

"Uh. Unfortunate accident." Alec gave no details, Logan could speculate as much as he wanted.

"Max is there, right? Can I talk to her?"

Alec was stunned for a moment, then quickly recovered. Max really had to stop using him as a safety net of excuse. But considering the situation, he let it go. "Actually, she's trying to unwind. Bath and all that girl stuff, ya know. She asked me to not interrupt her. Including no phone. Sorry, Man."

"Oh. Right. She's having a bath at your place?"

"Yeah. I have running hot water here. This way, she doesn't have to boil twenty pots of water just to relax."

"Uh-huh." Logan sounded distracted.

"Hey man, you okay?"

"Yeah. She's avoiding me, won't answer my calls, won't talk to me when I make it past her answering machine…I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make her listen to me."

Alec gritted his teeth. "First of all, you don't _make_ Max do anything!" He ground out. "Second, if she's made up her mind, you can't change it. You ought to know that."

"I do. That's what worries me. That's why I need to make her understand."

"If you can't grasp the fact that Max is an individual, capable of making up her own mind without input from other people, then you really are a lost cause."

"But I lo—"

"Good-bye, Logan." Alec hung up on the other man.

* * *

For the second time since Max got in her bath, the phone rang. She almost dreaded to hear the tones after the last two days of calls.

"Hey, Boo." OC answered from her place at the end of the tub where she focused on Max's toes, the pedicure almost complete. "Oh, Alec. Hi. Yeah, she's right here. Hang on." She handed the cordless to Max.

"What's up?"

"You are not going to believe what just happened."

"Logan call you?"

"Yeah. How'd you guess?" He asked dryly.

"Uh. I had OC deflect his call, told him I was hanging at your place. Sorry."

"No biggie, really."

"He bite?"

"Yeah, told him you were having a girly bath, no interruptions allowed. By the sounds of things, I was right, just a different locale."

"Yup. Girlie night. Me, OC, bath, much-needed pedicure and movies. So how'd it go?"

"Simple. He still thinks he has an opinion in your decision making. I informed him otherwise."

"Thanks, but I doubt he'll listen. He still doesn't trust you, you know."

"Yeah, I know. He never let go of the minor fact that I was supposed to be the guy to drag the two of you back to Manticore. I never did apologize for holding a gun on you that day. Sorry, Max. I know it couldn't have felt very good, reminiscent of Eva and all."

"It's okay."

"No, Max. It's not 'okay.' Can you forgive me for holding a gun on you?"

"Yes, Alec. I can and I have forgiven you. I'm sorry I never told you."

"Hey, now we both know, right? So, it's all good…'all de time'?"

Max laughed. "Yeah. Alec, I really wish you had been able to meet Herbal." OC turned at looked at Max, hearing her brotha's name. They all missed him. Since he moved, Jam Pony had never been the same."

"From what I hear, Biggs would have benefited more."

"Biggs wouldn't benefit from a steel I-beam."

"I don't know. I hit him once with a two-by-four when we had to fix part of the barracks, he seemed to wise-up a bit after that."

"And what was that for?"

"He was the one who decided to light a kerosene lantern, then smash it on the wall, just to see what happened."

"You have to be kidding."

"Nope. We were probably around twelve years old then."

"What did he get for punishment?"

"Iso for a week, followed by a stern talking to by Lydecker. He was still base commander then."

"When did they actually pull him?"

"I must have been around fourteen? Then we had a year of reprieve, no base commander to speak of for about ten months before Renfro got the desk. That's when everything got rearranged and—intensified."

"So you were almost fifteen? Hey, did you ever learn when your birthday was?"

"Naw. I always guessed it was in November, but I never really found out. Our files, as you know, we're top secret—even from us. Birth records, mission debrief reports…everything under lock and key. Everything hand written. They didn't digitize any of it. With our skills with computers, they didn't want to risk the information be exposed to us…no idea why. If it concerned us, wouldn't you think it would be our business to know? Freaking prison."

"Done with the feet, Boo." OC patted Max' ankle.

"I'm getting pruney, too. Damn."

"What?" Alec was curious.

"Nothing. It just makes it complicated."

"What does?"

"Getting a pedicure while taking a bath. I need to find a way out of the tub now, without ruining the nice job OC did on my feet."

"Am I gonna get to see this fine job?" He inquired playfully.

"What? You see my feet? Uh…erm." Max laughed nervously. Her feet were precious to her, there were only few trusted people who had ever seen her feet.

Alec heard the hesitancy and uneasiness in her reply. "If you don't want me to, just say no. I understand."

"It's not that…It's….I like my feet, okay? My feet are special to me. It's kinda like bearing my soul, ya know?"

"Yeah. I know."

"Alright, I'm gonna try this. Hang on a sec." He heard her set down the phone.

Sloshing water and a bathrobe later, Max had the phone to her ear again chatting with Alec as she sat on the couch, OC beginning a manicure on her left hand.

"Max, I thought you didn't want any interruptions during your bath, or the phone in your vicinity." Alec tried to grasp her reasoning speaking to him during her allocated down-time.

"It's relaxing talking to you. I don't have to worry about hiding my past or who I am… It's just me. That is relaxing. So, thanks actually, for calling.

"Nice to know I'm one of the girls now." He said, mimicking a Jersey girl.

"Alec."

"Okay, okay. Sorry. Okay, I'm not sorry. It was funny."

"No comment." Max smiled. "What are you doing? I mean right now, what are you doing?"

"Me? I'm flipping through the three channels that are actually still broadcasting on this side of the broken country."

"You wanna take a ride with me?"

He sat up in his chair shutting off the TV and placing the remote on the side table. "Where to?"

"Wherever the road goes? It's rare that I don't have a bound purpose for riding my motorcycle. I think my baby needs a vacation. Care to come along?"

"Sure. You want me to meet you there?"

"Naw, I'll come get you."

"A'right."

Max set the phone down, the connection having been terminated. OC stared at her, a knowing smile on her lips. Max caught the look and bit her lip. She knew what OC was thinking, and OC was right. "I don't want to admit anything. You know it and I know it, but if I say it out loud, I don't want anything to change between Alec and me. We're finally good friends—I want us to stay good friends."

"But if you want more than good friends, that doesn't mean that your friendship will evaporate. Take a chance, Boo. You can't risk not taking the opportunity."

"I want to get this thing with Logan out of the way before anything else. He's hounding me, so before I can be happy and able to pursue something else with someone else, I need to get him off my case."

"Say what you want, but you are acting like a school girl with a crush. Nearly giddy, talking for hours on end on the phone. He's a lucky guy. If he only knew." OC stared off dreamily, nearly mocking her.

"Shut up." Max smiled. "I gotta get dressed so I can go get him."

"I heard." OC lightly touched Max's shoulder. "Go get your boy. And have fun."

Max nodded and pushed herself up from the couch, heading for her room and a clean change of clothes.

With OC's help, Max had two solid hours of spa-like treatment. Girl-time is unsurpassed. Bath, pedicure, manicure and girly movies, what else is needed? The call from Alec had been nice too. They hadn't talked like that in a long time. She decided they needed to honestly speak to one another more often. It made their friendship more real. Made her realize how badly she had been taking advantage of him.

Before, she never would have considered speaking to him about personal matters. But the thing with the Barrisfords made her watch Alec more closely, to look for the signs that proved he wasn't as 'alright' as he always claimed to be. And after explaining the situation with Ben to him, he seemed to be a lot more open with her. She returned the favor, and they shared stories of Manticore and their life on the outside. Max had quite a bit more to talk about when it came to living outside the fence, but Alec opened her eyes to a world she had missed out on in running from Manticore. She never had the opportunity to go on missions, she missed out on the adventure of seeing different countries and their cultures. She told him as much, but he only shrugged it off. When he returned to base, it was still a prison, he admitted.

Now in jeans and a black top, her leather jacket in hand, Max headed for his door. She knocked twice. "Get your butt out here."

"Ah," Alec stumbled. He looked once more out the window he peered through before turning back to the interior of his apartment. "I gotta find my jacket first."

Max opened the door. "You're kidding." She looked around. "Holy crap, Alec. You could clean up a bit."

"Hey, if I'm not under the ruling thumb of a whack government instillation, I can be as messy as I want. No spot checks. Don't you love the freedom?"

"Yeah, the freedom's great. But the ideal scenario would be being able to find what you're looking for with little or no effort."

"Couch. That's where I tossed it after I got back from Crash." Alec glanced at her as he shifted a box and some reading material. "See, I know where it all is, I just need to unbury it." He pulled the worn brown leather jacket from beneath the pile. "Voila!"

"Very good. Can we go now?"

"And I thought I was the one with a short attention span."

"You're rubbing off on me, what can I say?" Max hid her face, turning for the door. "Let's get this party started!"

The two transgenics exited the building, Max tugging on Alec's arm. A familiar Pontiac Aztec sat parked across the street. Alec had first noticed the vehicle when he was waiting for Max.

"Hey." He nodded almost imperceptibly at the car. He regretted bringing her attention to the car as soon as the word escaped his lips.

"Dammit!" Max fought the urge to flip off the car. That would be immature.

Alec observed her inner struggle knowingly. She needed to get away. "Hey," he took her arms, "do you think you'd let me drive your baby?"

"What?" Max didn't quite hear his question, so wrapped up was she in restraining herself from smashing in Logan's windows. "I guess." She handed him her keys.

"Then, let's blaze."

She nodded, thanking him. They straddled the machine and headed off into the night, not caring what was behind them.

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**A/N:** Well, what do you think? I like this chapter a lot. But I really really really really want feedback from you all. PLEASE! 


	5. Rest in Peace

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Dark Angel…disappointing, I know.

**A/N: **FYI Logan did not follow them. Bessie sat there with Logan waiting and watching—kind of like the situation where he jumped to the conclusion that Max and Alec were a thing in the series, ep. 17 "hello, goodbye"—he wanted to see if Alec was telling the truth, that Max was really there, of if he was covering for her. Oops, guess Alec's story proved true enough that Logan sat there too stunned to move.

**A/N2:** Now for chapter 5. Please read and review.

**Funeral for That Which Never Was**

Chapter 5: Rest in Peace

…_And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up_

_If this is giving up, then I'm giving up giving up on love, on love._

The ride out of town allowed Max a lot of time to think. She thought long and hard about what it meant to be in love, which was an interesting feat considering she had her arms wrapped around Alec's midriff. She knew that she had invested too much and gotten nothing in return for whatever it was she had with Logan. But it was finally over. She didn't have to think about him anymore, she could get through the rest of her life better without him getting in her way. But, now that Alec seemed a larger part of her life, she felt confused. Relaxed, but confused.

For now, she figured she would just enjoy his company. It wouldn't be worth anything if she jumped into a relationship again, if he even wanted one with her any way. It would be partial rebound on her part, and she didn't want to use Alec like that anymore. She was too hard on him as it was. He didn't deserve to be treated like that.

The two transgenics drove to the ocean, and down the coast. Max had said her baby needed a vacation, Alec was giving them all one. The moonlit ocean was one of the more spectacular sights. Even with the Pulse, the Pacific—minus the bits of floating riot debris—was one of the few places where it was acceptable to feel peace.

Alec pulled off the road outside a diner. Food was always a good idea. Max nodded her approval as they dismounted the motorcycle. "I think I'll have pancakes," she said decisively.

"Pancakes? At this time of night?"

"Alec, it's three AM. We're lucky that we found a diner open 24 hours, and pancakes are perfect breakfast food. I don't see the problem."

Alec held up his hands in self defense. "Pancakes. Go right ahead and eat those pancakes. Personally, I would like a peanut butter ice cream sunday."

Max blinked looking at him. "Peanut Butter. Ice cream. Sunday."

"Yeah."

"I love peanut butter." Max continued to stare at the transgenic before her, nearly dumbfounded. Then she clasped her hands together and leaned forward. "Can we share?" She asked, like a child.

"No." Alec crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. "You wanted pancakes, I don't think you have any right to ask if we can share _my_ peanut butter ice cream sunday."

"Oh, come on, Alec. Please?" She pleaded.

Alec considered her request with ardor, holding his chin, until he gave in, "Maybe a spoonful, but nothing more."

But both of their hopes were dashed when they stepped inside the diner and ordered. They soon found out that the pancake mixer had run its final leg and they were out of ice cream. Max glowered, having been jipped out of both pancakes and peanut butter.

Alec glanced over at her slyly, winked and stepped up to the order window through which he held a quiet discussion with the cook.

Five minutes later, he returned to their table with two glasses of chocolate milk, a jar of peanut butter and plate of hash browns. Alec set one glass of chocolate milk and the plate of hash browns in front of Max when he approached the table, sitting on the opposite side with his own glass and the jar of peanut butter which he cradled against him like a baby, thrusting a spoon aloft as if in victory.

He brought the spoon down and said, "It's not pancakes, but will it do?"

"Yeah, it's breakfast. To be honest, I'm more interested in the jar of peanut butter you were _somehow_ able to score."

"Cost me ten bucks. Can you believe it, a jar of peanut butter for ten bucks!"

"In this economy, yeah, I can believe it." Max eyed the jar lustfully. "So. Can I have some?"

"No way. I'm out ten bucks, therefore I will be the consumer of the precious peanut buttery goodness."

"Greedy."

"Yes, thank you."

"Egotistical."

"Well, it's not one that I like to admit to."

"Selfish."

"Ok, I'll let you have a few spoonfuls, but I get most of it."

"Only a few?" she asked innocently.

Alec pointed his thumb into his chest, "Out of pocket, baby. I think I deserve it."

"All right," Max relinquished. "I guess I beat you up enough you need a little support. And peanut butter is the best recovery food," she said matter of factly.

He smiled in agreement and settled in to eat his peanut butter spoonful by spoonful, taking a sip of chocolate milk occasionally. Max shook her head, smiling, and ate her hash browns. When they were gone, Alec was still scooping spoonfuls of peanut butter into his mouth. Max watched him expectantly.

"Wha'?" He asked around a mouthful when he caught her eyes watching him.

"When do I get my spoonfuls?"

"Uhm…" He swallowed.

Max could tell that he was seriously considering never giving them over. She picked up her spoon and moved over to his side of the table, sliding into the booth beside him.

"What do you want, you mooch?" Alec asked moving the peanut butter out of sight.

"Let me have my promised share and I promise I won't cause you bodily harm." Max said, a glint in her eyes.

"Yeah, right. You kick my butt just for fun. You wouldn't give up a stress relieving activity just for a few bites of peanut butter." He didn't believe that the source of Max was so simple.

"Are you sure about that?" She threatened.

Alec considered her. "Nope. Sorry, but the peanut butter is mine."

"Really?" She reached her spoon across his stomach toward his back, where she knew he was harboring the jar. She was able to dip her spoon in the jar and extract a small amount.

But, before she was able to bring it to her lips, Alec grabbed her wrist and proclaimed a defiant "No."

Max merely leaned forward and ate the peanut butter off her spoon, his hand still restraining her arm, their faces mere inches apart.

He didn't think. He simply brought his face closer to hers, their lips touched for what seemed like an eternity. Then, his mind met his instincts and he pulled away sharply, as if he'd been slapped. "I'm sorry," Alec leaned back against the window, putting as much distance between them as the booth would allow without pushing her off the seat.

"It's alright, Alec." Max stood up and crossed the table back to her own booth, noticing his discomfort, but she couldn't help but feel a little hurt.

"No, really, Max. I should know better. Especially so soon after Logan…"

"Alec. I say what I mean, and I said it was alright."

He sat for a moment, and then he brought the jar of peanut butter to the table, moving it toward her like an offering. Max smiled at the gesture and grasped the jar, his fingers beneath hers in the exchange. Their eyes met in an unfamiliar gaze.

"Thank you," Max said, and the moment dissipated, returning the two friends back into their comfort zone.

The sun crept through the window as dawn encroached on their mini-vacation.

"Damn." The quiet word was spoken with so much disappointment that Max wasn't sure what Alec was referring to: their separation after the kiss or the inevitable end to their night away from life.

"What?" Max hoped for both, but she suspected he meant their return to the city and, therefore, work.

"I'm going to be exhausted by noon!" He complained.

"And why's that?"

"Because, you kept me out all night. I never got any sleep! Some of us aren't naturally gifted with the need for less sleep, ya know."

"Naturally gifted?"

Alec merely cocked an eyebrow in her direction. "You know what I mean."

Max sat back against the booth. "Well, since it was my fault and all, I could cover for you at work. That should let you get at least a few hours of shut eye before Normal starts calling you like crazy until you walk through the front door."

"I may just worship you for that."

"You're easy to please."

"Oh, did I say that out loud?" He asked sarcastically.

Max stood. "Come on. If we don't start back now, I'll get it from Normal, and my word won't count for anything—even if it's for you."

The two transgenics returned to the black Ninja sitting outside the diner, and headed back to Seattle, making the Space Needle the arrowhead of their compass.

**A/N: **I hope you enjoyed it. I did. Please review and let me know.

**A/N2: **I've been working a lot lately, so I haven't had much time to get online with my stupid dial-up to post. The benefits? I have three total new chapters for this fic to post now. Please continue on to chapter 6…btw, don't you just love the chapter titles for this fic? I think it's fun…morbid, but fun.


	6. Grief

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Dark Angel. Never have, never will. Dammit.

**A/N:** Okie dokie, here's chapter 6, please read and review.

* * *

**Funeral for That Which Never Was**

Chapter 6: Grief

_And maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love… _

It had been a week since Max had made the official move: breaking up with Logan—that is, if you can call ending a non-existent romantic relationship "breaking up." She had counted the days of freedom and reveled in their bliss. But total peace was halted by her answering machine. Every day, Logan had left messages. Message after message, it was like torture. Today, Logan left fourteen messages within the space of a single hour. If he was going to be this persistently immature, she would return the favor.

Max dialed the annoyingly familiar number. She rolled her eyes as the line connected. She briefly moved the phone away from her ear to press the star key, bringing her directly to his voicemail. Max had all she could do to keep from smashing her own phone against the apartment wall when she heard the message on his voicemail, swearing if she never heard his voice again it would be too soon and definitely uninvited. When the line finally beeped, indicating the beginning of her message time, she began. "You little worm. And I do mean the writhing, slimy kind. Never call me again. Don't even try to speak to me. I won't hear it. No amount of begging or pleading is going to make me do anything, be it 'come back to you' as you put it, or go on your little errand runs. Nothing." Again she moved the cordless phone from her ear and pressed the call-end button on the receiver. It didn't have nearly the effect of slamming the receiver down on a cradle, but it would suffice. The words she finally let out were enough of a relief that she didn't have to resort to such violent measures.

It was time to make it end, permanently. If he wouldn't stop calling her, which was a definite possibility, she would make it so he couldn't. Max once again lifted the receiver, dialing the area service provider without even looking at the keys. She lifted the device to her ear once again. While she waited for the line to be picked up by an operator, Max opened the old answering machine, removing the tape from within it. She eyed it from several angles, debating in her mind whether to keep it as evidence of a stalker. She could hand it over to the police—Sector cops, yeah right. They wouldn't do anything about it. Besides, she had all the protection she needed in her pinky finger. All she had to do was touch him and no more Logan. But she didn't want to kill him. She just wanted him to leave her alone.

The operator picked up. "Seattle Communication Services. How can I help you?"

"Yes. I would like to change my home telephone number." Max didn't intend to be short with the service worker. She was just frustrated with the situation. She tried to calm her temper. "Please." Max thought about how easiest to handle Logan, without killing him. The only other trusted protection she had was Alec. And he would believe her anyway, she wouldn't need the evidence of the tape to prove her case. She crushed small object in her hand, not even wincing as the sharper edges of plastic painfully stabbed at her skin. Max opened her palm and watched the tiny particles of plastic rain to the floor.

The operator spoke again, "Of course. All I need is your current address and your current telephone number and we can do that right now."

Max relayed the information with a smile in her voice, absently flicking at the plastic still sticking to her hand.

If the time came for it, Max would let Alec handle it. Alec. Max smiled at the thought. Alec would enjoy it too much. But then again, Max didn't have to watch what Alec did to Logan. Just give him permission. Max grinned at the thought of giving Alec permission to do anything. Usually he would say "screw permission. I've had to live by following orders all of my life. I don't think so." But Max knew that for this Alec wouldn't act until he had the A-OK from her. She knew that Alec held back whenever he saw Logan. For some odd reason, he thought she would be upset if anything were to happen to the older man, not to mention the innate fear that she would royally kick his ass if she knew that it was Alec who had maimed him. But now, Max welcomed it.

"Your new number will be effective within the hour." Max sighed gratefully as she heard the news. "Thank you for using our service, Ms. Guevera."

"No. Thank you." She replaced the cordless receiver in its cradle.

She walked around the partition to her own room to change out of her clothes and into a soft bathrobe. As she wrapped the material around her, she considered informing a few people of the changed number. But, then the issue came up of who would Logan most likely call find a new number for her? Safest bet to inform of the change would be Alec. He would be both Logan's first call and Max's most trusted of not giving over the information. Even under duress of torture, short of psy-ops, Alec wouldn't give it up.

On her way back around the wall to the bathroom, Max picked up the phone again, taking it with her to her sanctuary. She closed the door, barricading herself within the self-made haven. She turned on the faucet to the finally functioning hot water and waited while the tub filled, pouring a small amount of hard-to-find bubble bath in with the water. Max pulled back the sleeve of her robe and dunked her hand under the ripples, stirring the bubbles. When the tub had sufficiently filled, Max turned off the water and de-robed. She stepped into the hot water and sighed as she was finally able to sink into its comfort.

Finally, a bath which Logan couldn't call and interrupt with his superhero complex and an I-wanna-save-the-world-one-bad-guy-at-a-time assignment. As she sunk deep in her bath water, Max thought about her earlier contemplations. It seemed her mind would not let her have a Logan free night after all. But Max considered it of a much different, better variety of thought. She was thinking of how to prove to Logan just how over it really was.

Alec would be sure to help her, as soon as she explained the further developments. Alec would believe her when she told him that Logan was getting beyond obnoxious with his calls. She wouldn't even have to explain herself, especially given their conversation at Crash earlier that week. But why? Why did Alec automatically believe most everything that she said? Sure, there were times when he questioned her, but that's because he knew she was lying. He seemed to always be able to tell when she was lying. And with Alec, that wasn't very often. Max couldn't really lie to the man.

The truth came brutally sometimes, but it was always said. She never hid anything from him. Especially what was buried deepest in her heart: Ben. Given, Ben belonged to both of them. He had been Max's brother growing up in Manticore, yet he was also Alec's twin. At least that's how she justified it to herself. She couldn't explain what made her open up with Alec that night in her apartment, after she broke him out of jail. She just did. Excuse number one: It was an emotionally charged day. It was the first time when she let herself recognize that there was nothing between her and Logan, no future—she had yet to admit to herself that there was no past either. And she had almost lost a person who had come to mean more than she would like to admit.

Before she relaxed entirely in her bath, she decided to call Alec. Business first. She put a temper on her thoughts for the moment, cleared her throat and dialed his number.

"Alec," he said simply when he answered.

"Hey, it's me."

"What's up?" He paused for a second. "Are you taking a bath? Another bath?"

"Damn straight. Is it so unusual for a girl to take a bath twice in one week? This week just happens to have been one of the more stressful. This is my downtime, to be UN-interrupted by Logan calling and telling me that some bad guy needs to be taken down for the greater good. Blah, blah, blah." Max took a breath to calm herself. "Anyway, I just wanted to give you a heads up. As of today, I have a different phone number, don't tell him." She gave him her new number.

"Lips sealed per request." He made a motion of turning a key against his lips.

"Thanks. I'm going to submerge in my bubbles now. See ya."

"Bye, Max. And, uh, enjoy those bubbles." He smiled as he imagined her burying herself in the bubbles. She was like a kid sometimes.

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**A/N:** I know it's kinda short, but I had big plans for chapter 7, and it seemed to just fit plot-wise to be this length. I hope you liked it and please review. Chapter 7 should be up as well, so please continue if you'd like, a.k.a. have time ;) 


	7. Burial

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Dark Angel. That awesomeness is property of only James Cameron and Charles Eglee. Dang, I wanted royalties…I could use them…college is like cha-ching—mucho dinero, no tengo nada.

**A/N:** Well, here is the last of the three that I have for now, wait a little bit and I'll have the rest up…I'm thinking two more chapters then it'll be done. I know, sad isn't it? But I'm sneaky…nine chapters…cats supposedly have nine lives, live and die…death…funeral for that which never was…hehehe.

**A/N2:** Ok, now that I've had my laugh…I hope you enjoy, and I hope it'll hold you until I can finish and post chapter 8. Please read and review.

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**Funeral for That Which Never Was**

Chapter 7: Burial

…_When all my resistance will never be distance enough…_

Logan had finally taken it too far. Now he was following her around. Max daily grew more irritated with the man. After she had officially had broken their "relationship," he actually had the nerve for a follow-up with her at Jam Pony. She did little more than groan and roll her eyes when he walked in the door. From her place at her locker, Max slumped as if she was holding the collapsed nation on her shoulders.

"What's shaking you, Boo?" OC noticed Max's discomfort at seeing a certain cyber-journalist walk through the door. As far as she knew, the two had broken it off. Well, that's what Max had told her when they were getting ready for work that morning in their apartment, even going so far into detail as to explain her return call—filled with latent hostility.

"You know." Max motioned for OC to follow her. Max stepped around Alec at his locker and headed for the back wall. "It's like he won't leave me alone now. I've stopped answering his calls and his pages—destroyed my pager finally. I even changed the number of the phone at our apartment, for God's sake. Seriously, he must be _really_ thick. I mean, what's it going to take? I've told him I don't know how many times to just leave me alone—I've lost count, it's been so many!" Max tried to keep her voice down, she didn't want Logan to find out where she had gone. She just didn't want to talk to him anymore. She didn't want to try for the millionth time to convince him that they were over. She doubted he would ever believe her.

Max really hoped his persistence wouldn't resort to a need for her to leave Seattle. She loved the city, the Needle, her friends…she just couldn't take Logan anymore. "I just want him to leave me alone." Max leaned her back against the wall.

A locker ahead of them slammed shut. Max looked up and saw Alec head to the dispatch desk where Normal was tossing packages and insults at the crew. Max's eyes lingered on his frame as he grabbed a few boxes from the desk and headed for the door. She would have given anything to go back to the night that they ran away for their little vacation.

She almost growled when Logan tried to stop him by the door on his way out. Stupid. Alec wouldn't take any crap from that guy. He never did like him….he only put up with him because she and Logan had been, well kind of…whatever. The point was Alec didn't have to be civil with him anymore. Even with her transgenic hearing, Max couldn't hear what was said, but she didn't have to. Manticore had also seen fit to train its soldiers with the ability to lip-read.

"Where's Max?" Logan had said, scowling the whole time. He apparently didn't want to have anything to do with Alec, but whatever means got him to his end.

"She's not here. Obviously. And from what I hear, I don't think she's ever going to speak to you again." Alec tried to push past him, but Logan held on to his sleeve. Clenching his jaw, Alec took hold of Logan's wrist and forcefully dragged him out the door.

It was silent, and Max could only guess what was going on between the two of them. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she too headed in the direction of the door. Oblivious to the jumbled conversations around her and Normal's screeching as she passed the front desk, she positioned herself just on the inside of the open doorway. She heard the shudder of corrugated metal as a body was slammed up against the chain-pull side door. Then she heard a voice. "Get it through your skull: She doesn't want to be with you. She doesn't want to talk to you. She doesn't want to see you. Ever." Alec's voice had reverberated against the metal, carrying inside the building. It was menacingly cold, like Ben's had been at a time that she had tried to forget.

This time, though, she smiled. Alec was actually standing up for her. Typically, Alec would let Max handle her own issues, knowing full-well that she was capable of it. She had kicked his ass many times proving the point. But, this time, he had to step in. Max mentally thanked Alec for his intervention. This was something that Max couldn't handle on her own. She had tried, time after time to tell Logan to leave her alone, that they were over and she didn't want to see him anymore. But, like always, he was stubborn—wanting his own way.

Just then a single gunshot rang in the air. The hub of noise in Jam Pony ceased, only to pick up again with haste a moment later. Gunshots were far from rare in the broken world they lived in since the Pulse hit. Now, it seemed to provide a topic of discussion: Wonder who got capped this time? Probably a whack government dude. Naw, I'd say it was an unsuspecting bystander caught in the crossfire of a gang-war. But today, it meant something else entirely to Max.

Her heart froze. The only person who could be armed was Logan. She knew that Alec had abandoned his use of fire arms after being with her on a number of "outings." He had come to respect her aversion to them. He even realized that her physical ability in fighting was better simply because of the fact that she didn't use them, Max relied solely on her own strength and ability to survive in critical situations. She knew that if Alec did have any weapons that they would be locked up in his apartment. He had told her once that he just didn't need them anymore with the new life that he had. Because of this knowledge, Max had to take several slow breaths to calm her stampeding heart. If the only person with a gun was Logan, that meant that if he had hit his mark, Alec could be… crap!

Max hesitated only a fraction of a second before she tore around the door, shoving the thought of having to deal with Logan out of her head. She didn't have the energy to focus on letting him off, again. And if he had done what Max thought he did, there was no way she would be gentle. Verbally or physically, it didn't matter. She would tear him to pieces.

The scene she met was relieving. Alec had deftly dodged the bullet aimed at him, and pushed Logan against the wall once again, cracking his head against the corrugated metal. Snarling in his face, Alec twisted Logan's arm until the older man dropped the gun. The side arm dropped with a dull clunk to the ground at their feet. Max started to breath normally again and cleared her throat to let them know that she was there.

"Oh, Max! Thank God! Alec's trying to kill me!" Logan was close to whining, and the sound grated Max's ears.

"Logan, God, you're so annoying." Max mimicked his frantic petition. She had enough of being nice. She would be as cruel as it took to get him to leave her alone. And to stop threatening Alec. Logan had made a bad choice in doing so to begin with. Alec could snap him in six places in no time, and with no effort whatsoever.

"If you haven't realized it by now: It is o-ver." Max enunciated each syllable of the last statement, hoping that the situation and her clarity of speech would finally get the point across. "I don't want to see you anymore, and I don't want to hear your whiny demanding voice anymore. To be honest, seeing you now is kinda making me nauseous."

Logan's face dropped and his eyes began to water. Was it from the pain Alec had inflicted to his arm? Or had Max's words finally gotten to him? She really didn't care. Logan had ruined her sanity for almost an entire week. For a transgenic, that alone felt like an eternity. Not mentioning the year and a half in which they "danced around the truth." The many times which he disrupted Max's downtime just to fulfill his super-hero tendancies.

Alec shook him, bringing Logan's attention back to the situation. "Understand?"

Logan tried to glare at the male transgenic, but he couldn't pull off one convincing enough with the tears glistening in his eyes.

Max rolled her eyes. She stepped up just behind Alec's shoulder, so she could look Logan in the eye. "Understand?" She asked with the same tone that Alec had used.

The ordinary nodded and hung his head again.

Max turned, heading back inside to go on with her life. She decided that whatever Alec wanted to do with the stupid ordinary he was more than allowed to do so.

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**A/N: **Well, well, tell me…what did you think. Please review and let me know. Chapter 8 is in the works…give me a week or maybe less and I'll have it up and ready for you…maybe even with the final chapter. 


	8. A Eulogy and Life after Death

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it, neither do I own the rights to it…phooey…there goes my money-making, paying-for-college plan.

**A/N:** Okay, so, my plan didn't quite work. I was going to make this fic nine chapters long---give credit to the cat in the transgenic DNA cocktail. But I like how this works out much better than how I was trying to finish it. I hope you enjoy it, too. Please review and let me know what you think.

**Funeral for That Which Never Was**

Chapter 8: A Eulogy and Life After Death

_Driving away from the wreck of the day and it's finally quiet in my head_

_Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed._

Max re-entered Jam Pony to find several sets of eyes on her. Most turned back to whatever they were doing. Others whispered among themselves. As Max approached Normal at the dispatch desk, the man smirked at her.

"So, girly-girl. Looks like your rich boyfriend wasn't all he seemed to be, was he?" It was the closest thing to an I-told-you-so that Max would get from anyone.

"Do you really want to hear about it?" Max was still riled from having to deal with Logan, so her voice came out harsher than she intended.

"I have a feeling you'd tell me even if I didn't want to hear it." Normal looked down at his clipboard, pushing a stack of packages in her direction. When he looked up expectantly to hear Max rant about her dead-beat boyfriend, she was gone. Normal only shrugged and yelled at a passing messenger, throwing a package at his head.

-----

Alec discarded Logan to the ground, like an unidentifiable piece of trash. The man had merely passed out, hadn't even given the transgenic the satisfaction of a single punch to the face. "You're pathetic," he muttered to the older man, stepping over his unconscious form.

-----

Max didn't want to talk to anyone. She didn't want to have to think. She took the stack of packages and left. As she exited the main door with her bike, Max found an unconscious Logan crumpled on the ground. She walked past his body unconcernedly. Whatever Alec had done to him, he had deserved it. The transgenic in question was nowhere to be seen.

Max jogged a bit then jumped on her bike, heading to her next run. As Max unconsciously peddled her way around the city, narrowly dodging cars with the skill and agility of a well-practiced bike competitor, her thoughts ran circles. The playing field had totally changed. She knew her relationship with Alec was in foreign territory—certainly not behind enemy lines, just in a minefield of confusion.

There was definitely something there. And now that Logan had finally taken his cue, however against his will it was, she was free to live her own life without him breathing down her neck. Now the only question remained: where did she want her life to take her, or who with?

Max turned as she left an alley and encountered a truck backing up into her path. She almost groaned as she flipped over the handle bars of her bike. A similar thing had happened to her a little over a year ago. With the same truck, though in obvious better condition now.

Max shouted from her back, "Rafer! That's twice in less than two years. Are you trying to kill me, or something?" She grumbled as she tried to sit up.

"Max! Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" Rafer jumped out of the cab and rounded the back of the truck toward her. "I honestly didn't see you there. But, jeez. You automatically blame me? And what were you doing?" He reached out a hand to help her up. She was fine, and would probably put up a good fight proving it if he protested and tried to examine the extent of her injuries. He was more than aware of her special abilities and wisely ducked any excuse for her to physically teach him a lesson. Since the news broadcast about her surfing with a hover-drone hit almost eight months ago, most of Seattle had some idea of what a 'special little one' she was. "Off visiting your wandering thoughts again? Where'd they go this time—space," he commented dryly.

Max shoved at his shoulders, propelling him away from her. "You're a jackass." But she smiled at him anyway. Ever since she came back from Manticore, Rafer had tried to be a real friend to her.

A man came around the corner approaching them, wheeling a bike at his side. "And here I thought that was my name."

Max looked up surprised, but quickly masked it, stepping into her normal banter with him. "No Alec, you're just an ass," she said laughingly.

Rafer shook his head apologetically at Alec. "Down-graded. Man, I'm sorry."

But Alec was too distracted to respond to the joke other than give his trademark smirk. "Aw, sweet ride, Rafer!"

"Thanks, man. Being a paramedic pays off sometimes."

Max frowned. "How did being a paramedic help you get this car?" She was already skeptical—maybe Alec and Rafer were too similar.

"Car accident. One of the guys that died owned this car. It was nearly totaled. But I got it, and was able to fix her up."

"Nice." Alec circled the truck, examining the detailed bodywork.

Max raised an eyebrow. "Where did you get tinted glass in this economy?"

Rafer flitted a glance to Alec before offering a hurried explanation. "I know a guy who knows a guy."

"Mmm-hmm. Some guy." Max looked over at Alec, who had conveniently knelt to gaze at the styling on the door, avoiding eye contact.

"Men." Max raised her eyes to the sky. She shrugged giving it up as hopeless. She looked between her two friends. "Women and cars. With you two, it's always about the body." She rounded the truck and lifted the hood.

Rafer didn't even try to hide his disbelief. "Oh, come on Max. You can't say that you are not attracted by a good looking body."

"Now, are you referring to cars, or guys?" Max leaned around the front of the truck to look at Rafer. "If it's cars, I'm partial to certain body styles—specifically motorcycles—but honestly, if the thing runs I'm happy, then I can do with it what I will." She shut the hood, nodding her approval, admitting the engine was good too. "Speaking of which, where did Rafer get the tinted windows--_Alec_?"

"Off a gang leader's car." Alec answered matter of factly. "He was gunned down in a turf dispute a few weeks ago, I merely borrowed the keys and rescued the suburban from police impound. Then I helped Rafer do some detail work. It's all kosher Maxie. Bad guys and karma…neither like the other."

Max grinned. She had taught him well. Max walked over to her bike to salvage what she could of the twisted front wheel. "And, to answer the other half of the question, as far as guys go—Only one catches my eye. But he refuses to talk about it." She glared pointedly at Alec, who raised a hand to scratch the back of his head. "I think its denial, but I can't read minds…"

"Ha, I was so right." Rafer restrained a laugh at the look Max shot his way.

"Shut it, Rafer." Alec glared at his friend. Rafer feigned ignorance and headed for the refuge of the cab of his truck. "Max, you don't know what I think—" Alec stared hard at the ground, giving away the fact that he knew it was him she was referring to, as well as the fact that the situation had been on his mind as well.

"Then tell me. You seem so bent on not saying anything about it, no wonder I'm left in the dark as to what your thoughts are. God, Alec, we're supposed to be friends. We are, aren't we?" In a moment of uncertainty, Max doubted Alec's perspective on their relationship. The fear that sprung from this thought made her stomach constrict in apprehension.

"That's the thing, Max. I don't think I ever wanted you to be my friend." Alec looked up at her.

Max swallowed hard at his confession. Somehow she suspected as much, but it didn't make the hurt any less painful. She could feel the raw emotion start to ebb and flow in her heart between depression and numbness.

"I mean,_ just_ my friend," he hurried on, noticing her reaction to his words. "Having you as a friend is probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me. God knows I don't deserve being treated well, especially with all the crap I put you through… But, I don't know, somehow I always thought there was something else out there." Alec took cautious steps toward her. "Something more."

She stood merely blinking for several seconds, trying to bring herself out of the shock of having realized the opposite of her expectations. Max felt like she had taken a crash course in immediate hypothermia, then shoved straight into a tub of warm water.

When Max was able to breath normally again, she looked him in the eye. "You know something? You're like a bath."

Alec couldn't keep from laughing. "Really?"

Max frowned at him and he controlled his laughter. She really did love the sound of his laughter, but she needed to say this.

"And how did you come to this?" He prompted her. He couldn't wait to hear this explanation.

"I step in, and you're all comfort. No expectations. No demands. No disappointment. Just acceptance."

Alec wrapped his arms around her. "If you want to think of me as a bath, Maxie, then go right ahead. I'll do my best to wash all the pain away."

Max smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Alec pulled her closer to him.

A cat call whistle came from the cab of the truck. Both transgenics turned to see Rafer leaning out the window, a large satisfied grin stretched his face. "See, told you I was right."

**A/N:** Just cuz I'm a stickler for happy endings…well, endings that have Max and Alec together…aawwww. Please review and let me know what you think.


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